The Boker Mermaid Knife: Is it a Bust?
Today we have a very serious and disturbing pocket knife topic to discuss: the rainbow Boker Mermaid Knife. Yes, the one that looks like Poseidon’s garage sale collided with a Lisa Frank binder (Google her if you don’t know). The Mermaid is, without question, the most simultaneously controversial and coveted knife ever produced in modern society.
Moving ahead, we’ll explore the lore, peek at mystery and history, and touch on at least two of this folding knife’s most prominent features. Are you ready to dive in? Yeah, that’s a pun. There are going to be puns. You might even sea them coming but you’re not getting off the hook. I’m shore you’ll have fun. Cod help us all.
The Shocking Secret Origin
This knife is a reel catch. You publicly hate it, but secretly love it (look, I played with my sister’s Rainbow Bright dolls and you did too, okay?). Would it surprise you to learn that the Boker Mermaid knife has been accused of being a copy? Yes friends, over a decade ago a company called Tac-Force made the 1193, known in most blade circles as the "Sebenza of the Sea" (aka the "Mer-benza" or "Sea-benza") Reddit has enshrined the controversy for posterity. One astute redditor summed up the entire situation by asking, "Do we even care?"
A Brief and Definitely Accurate History of Mermaids
In fact, no one cared and thus was born the Boker Rainbow Mermaid knife, AKA "Siren of the Sea." The appeal of this knife isn’t hard to understand if you dissect history just a little bit. Mermaids were invented in 1737 by a Danish man who was bad at drawing both women and fish, so he just combined the two. Oh, no- that’s not right. Let me give you a more accurate incorrect version:
The first mermaid sighting in recorded history goes all the way back to around 1000 B.C., when an Assyrian goddess named Atargatis invented the "Mermaid" concept more or less by accident. According to legend, she fell in love with a human shepherd (because apparently Assyrian dating apps were broken that year), but things went badly, as they always do when one person is immortal and the other has sheep poop on his sandals.
In a fit of despair, Atargatis threw herself into a lake and tried to turn into a fish. Unfortunately, the water gods had not yet worked out the full "fish transformation" magic part of becoming a majestic trout, and she ended up with a fish tail and a human torso. This was history’s first official mermaid and the first known case of permanent cosplay.
From there, mermaids started showing up everywhere: Greek sirens (who, in early texts, were basically bird-women, because apparently nobody in ancient Greece knew what a fish was), medieval sailors who "saw" mermaids but were almost definitely just looking at manatees through rum goggles, and eventually at Disney, who taught us, with the help of a singing crab, that mermaids really just want to be part of our world.
Mainstream Mermaid Mania
Naturally, all of this inspired German knife designers to license the Sea-benza design and add a beautiful rainbow finish. The knife was publicly derided for years until Blade HQ’s marketing wizards, Zack Black and Ben Blue took a shine to the Mermaid. They hyped it up… a little too enthusiastically. Ben was gifted the knife for his 4th work anniversary. After several minutes of holding the knife in stunned silence he whispered "I’ll make a man out of you" (this subsequently influenced the lyrics of Donny Osmond’s Mulan performance).
Knife memes. Videos. People suddenly saw the vision. They attached their knives to the front of cars like modern day pirate ships. The Mermaid sliced through traffic and caused confused stares and accidents. The knives came out at board meetings, funerals, and even during routine dental cleanings. It was madness. Blade HQ sold nearly 100,000 Mermaid knives that year and we would have sold even more if it weren’t for those meddling kids and that dog.
More Media Madness- This Knife is a Freaking Movie Star.
In an act of anachronistic anarchy, the Boker Mermaid knife has appeared in several movies before it was ever created. This ability underscores just how powerful the knife is and may be a hint as to the power it can imbue to those who possess it.
The Mermaid made its first movie appearance as Rocky’s Trench Knife in Rambo: First Blood Part II. Fun Fact: Sly and the Mermaid knife became such good friends during filming that he would often not use her as a pry tool.
The Mermaid’s second appearance was as Jack Bauer’s primary weapon in Lost Boys. After twenty four hours of searching for a dead body the boys encounter Jack who proceeds to taunt them with zingers such as "Whale, whale, whale… what do we have here?" The boys capture Jack and free the Mermaid who grants them each a wish. Fade to black.
Tom Cruise brandishes the Mermaid in all the Mission Impossible movies. It’s hard to know which movie this is because the Mermaid is such a big part of every one. Wait, sorry… I’ve actually just been informed this is a shot is from Mission: Impossible II and is showcasing the infamous knife-to-the-eye stunt that Tom chose to perform himself.
The Mermaid knife was and is favorite among TV and movie producers and over fifty percent of all celebrities either own or have had direct contact with the Mermaid knife. I’m not allowed to tell you which celebrities buy knives from us, but there are a lot. Fun fact: Most classy celebrities choose Microtech Knives, Protech Knives or Boker Knives. The ones with no class also buy the same kinds of knives.
The Boker Mermaid is a Reel Catch
You can skip this part. It’s where they make me stay stuff about the knife that’s mostly true. Let’s say that, for some reason, you’ve decided to explore this article in the hopes of learning about "the facts of knife." I have been known to give into pier pressure once in a while and so…
The Böker Mermaid Knife is, without question, one of the most unique objects ever produced by human hands. The handle features a sculpted mermaid, stretched along the full length of the blade. If you look hard enough some say you can see her two eyes. The Mermaid’s name is Altrinia and she is questioning some of the choices that led her down this career path. Her father, the respectable "Sea Duke of Reef Town" does not know she’s on only knives. The entire Mermaid knife is coated in a titanium nitride, producing a rainbow effect similar to an oil spill coupled with a unicorn sneeze. Slick.
The blade is 440A stainless steel- a steel mostly known for its ability to exist. The clip point blade is sharp enough to get the job done, although no one is exactly sure what "the job" is in this case. Liner lock, tip down carry, sea pun, etc. Just go buy the Boker Mermaid Knife. Please. It’s how I get paid.
One subtle feature about this knife that most people miss: Opening is accomplished by giving the mermaid’s tail a push. If that doesn’t scream "elegant engineering" then it certainly whispers "this is why dolphins don’t trust us." A liner lock mostly holds the blade in place and allows for easy closing, often on purpose. Now remember: this is not just a knife (and it is a knife, sort of). This is forward-thinking ice-breaking art. A conversation piece. A guarantee that people will either immediately want to be your friend, or quietly leave the room.
This Knife is So Controversial We Almost Had Someone Quit
Story time! The names have been changed to protect the ignorant. Years and years ago one of our product posters came out of her office enraged. She demanded to know why we were selling pornographic knives. As you can imagine we were very confused, but definitely interested. She produced the Boker Mermaid Knife in all its filthy rainbow glory. "You can see her breasts!" she yelled. Every single person in earshot simultaneously thought of the same scene from Scrooged.
TV censor: I am the censor and I will not allow this costume on the air.
Bill Murray: Why not?
TV censor: Well, specifically, you can see her nipples.
Bill Murray: I want to see her nipples!
TV Censor: But this is a Christmas show!
Bill Murray: Well Charles Dickens would want to see her nipples, then.
Stage Hand: You can hardly see them nipples.
Bill Murray: See? And these guys are really looking.
We were able to resolve things with the employee as it turned out she was a published author of graphic erotic literature along with a few children’s books. Knotty knotty. But the point that needs to be made is that the Mermaid Rainbow Knife resides in the same pantheon as Charles Dicken’s immortal classic, A Christmas Carol. That being said, neither hold a candle to the Boker Kalashnikov.
So… Let’s Answer the Question.
Many questions about this knife hang in the air, but the most pertinent one is simply: Is the Mermaid too scantly clad? To this we ask: Is a cat naked? At least 130,000 customers think the Rainbow Mermaid is perfect just the way she is. She is proudly displayed in collections, fish tanks and trash cans all over the world.
Some might ask if there is an unaddressed issue of sexism present- a controversy surrounding this Mermaid knife that’s clearly deigned to speak to a certain demographic. Just clam down, everyone. Here are Blade HQ we believe in making knives for everyone and requested and prototyped a design for the eight or so people who wanted an alternative to the Mermaid. Sadly, the knife never saw the light of day.
However, with this post being made on Labor Day we feel it’s the appropriate time to reveal the "Rainbow Working Man" knife. You are free to enjoy it, hate it or both. This man has had an extremely hard day and his work efforts deserve to be celebrated (do you want this knife? Let us know because we’ll do it. We’re serious). We will choose ignore the fact that knife’s opening mechanism is still a mermaid tail. To all those who labor hard to make this country great, free and occasionally absurd, we thank you from the bottom of our rainbow mermaid knife loving hearts. Buy a Mermaid knife and have an incredible day. Stay Sharp!
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